sports

Dozer The Pig On Chelsea-Dexter Rivalry Week

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Hey, everybody, it’s me, Dozer the pig! Are you as jacked up as I am for the game Friday? It’s Chelsea/Dexter rivalry week and I’m excited. I love my Bulldogs and this game means a lot to me and Chelsea community.

But first, let’s go back to the victory over Adrian last week. Wasn’t that the homely chick’s name in the Rocky movies? You know where he screams her name? I’d scream too, ugh, scary!  Anyway, yeah, that Chelsea defense kicked butt! And my honorary pig brother Owen Nikischer! 2 more picks, that’s 5 in 2 games! Open the windows people because he’s smoking! Braden Steele played good too, he hit a guy so hard, that kid has Braden’s #3 imprinted on his chest!

Now Dexter, yuck, is and 0-5 on the season. Huh huh huh!  I love it! Meanwhile, Chelsea is 4-1 on the season and has one of the toughest schedules in the Southeast Conference. They beat two top-tier teams, Milan and Pinckney, giving them their only losses. Speaking of Pinckney the Pirates hornswoggled Dexter last week  56-21. Rumor has it Dexter scored 21 points then Pinckney showed up for the game!

Throw everything out the window, stats and all, because the rivalry is strong between these teams. Now Chelsea has won 21 games in a row which means the last time Dexter won a newborn then can now buy beer legally. That was a 16-5 loss back in 95. The last century. Now since 1950 Chelsea has a .791 record against the dread nuts. They have played each other more than they have any other team since then. So the odds look pretty good for Chelsea.

Let’s not forget the fact Dexter has given up 246 points in 5 games. Wait really?  That’s just over 49 points a game. Wow! Chelsea has give up only 50 all season!  Hey for a pig I’m pretty good at math. You know who taught me my numbers? Jake Nelson. That little dude is amazing, he’s so smart! And the best referee ever! Heh, luv that kid!

Now the game is at Dexter this year. Good thing pigs aren’t allowed or I’d be there. Cheering for my bulldogs and stuffing myself with food. Not their food, I’d bring my own, I don’t trust them! The weather Friday is supposed to be  cloudy in the evening with a 20% chance of rain. The field is turf so the speed should be in the Bulldogs favor. I expect a strong running game and plenty of stops on defense.

I hope no one forgets what they did to our field last year? Remember? The graffiti? You know it was them, it had spelling errors! And it made me so mad! I still beat up Spike over it. He thinks Dexter will win 1-0. What the heck Spike, you’re so dumb!  So Bulldogs get out on that field, get tough, get mean, show them how we roll in Chelsea! I expect a big win, a good win,

I gotta go the Jets delivery driver is here with my 20 pizzas. Not sure what the rest of the family will eat. Go Bulldogs!

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